


A Conversation

by pepperpottsgoddessofmischief



Series: Historical Reincarnation AU: Patrochilles and Lams against the world [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda, The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Mentioned once in passing, Mostly Fluff, Reincarnation, Short, Short Drabble, talking about children, tw: rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 07:20:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18245078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperpottsgoddessofmischief/pseuds/pepperpottsgoddessofmischief
Summary: A short and sweet conversation between Patroclus and Alexander regarding their pasts and their children--------------This is only short, but it is a precursor to my next, much longer story, 'Tomorrow they'll be more of us...'





	A Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> There is a very, very brief mention of rape in this story. It's very brief, Patroclus considers it rape because he couldn't say no to having sex with a woman as he believed it would possibly highlight the fact that he was gay in a time where it wasn't legal.
> 
> The rest of this is mostly fluff, a way to fall into the next stage of this AU that is currently being edited.

**October 2012**

 

"Alexander?" Patroclus’ voice was soft as the four of them laid intertwined on their blanket beneath the stars. They did this as often as they could, as often as their jobs would allow them. Get away from the city, watch and count the same stars they all used to sleep under together, recreate some of the events that they lived through, with the knowledge that no one would die for a kiss this time around.

"Hm?" Alexander turned his face sleepily away from where it was buried in John’s hair. Patroclus smiled softly at the exhausted look on his face. The poor man rarely got a full nights sleep, always said he couldn’t, and survived off sheer stubbornness, determination and coffee alone. They all had their own share of the nightmares and all they ever did was hold whoever was nearby when they happened. One of the many perks fo them all sharing an apartment was the ready supply of people ready to hug someone with nightmares back to sleep, another already in the kitchen making John’s signature knock out hot chocolate.

"About your son…I’m sorry." Patroclus kept his voice soft, neutral almost, the man had lost so much in the last twenty years of his life that they all now danced around. He knew first hand how bringing up Philip could send Alexander down one for two paths, but felt he needed to say something.

 

The first, a happy lane of memories and little mistakes every first-time parent makes. The second, a path of sheer pain and depression, a horrible path to relive the last thirty minutes of his son's life and the events that followed. He heard Alexander sigh softly but didn’t see the expected eyes shiny with tears as he turned to face Patroclus.

"He looked so much like me you know, and…somehow I could see John in him. In his fight, he never let anything drop. His mothers face, delicate and handsome, and his mother's hair, thank God," Alexander laughed softly but Patroclus could see the silent tears falling down his cheeks. "I don’t know why I said for him to make me proud. That was such a stupid thing to say, I pushed him into it...I’m also the reason my beautiful baby girl lost her mind. I’ve come to terms with it now, I know what I did wrong, but I wish I could see him now, see him grow up again with me actually there." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up further from it just being sleep messy. They laid together in silence for a moment before Alexander’s soft, lilting voice cut through the darkness.

"You have any kids?"

The question caught him off guard, and his brain automatically froze, avoiding the automatic answer of ’no’ that bubbled to the surface. He knew he would have to tell someone this story one day, the weight of it made him jumpy when someone brought up children, among other things. He took a soft deep breath and turned his face to the sky.

"I was...I was raped. A couple of lives ago," Patroclus’ voice was thick with emotion as he spoke, but his face showed none of it. "She...she wouldn’t let me say no, and I could only refuse so much before someone suspected anything. She had a daughter. I don’t know if she was mine, but I treated her like she was," He laughed softly and turned his head into Alexander’s shoulder. His voice was muffled but Alexander still heard every word. "Jane. She was so tiny, little fists that would pull on my hair, bright blue eyes and a toothless smile for me every time I walked into her life." He sighed softly and quickly wiped his eyes. "She died. She died and I went off to war. I always wanted children, but never wanted to be with anyone but him, I still don’t. We’ve fought so hard to stay together, he’s half my soul."

"Me and John…we were talking the other day…we’re gunna try and adopt. He’s always wanted to be a dad and I can’t make the same mistakes twice. Right?" Alexander laughed wetly, tears spilling down his face uncontrolled. He buried his face in Patroclus’ shoulder and Patroclus rubbed Alexander’s back gently, calming the shudders that ran through his body.

 

"You’ll be a great dad, Alexander, I promise you," Patroclus watched the clouds slowly blow clear of the sky above them, revealing the sky-full of stars they had waited to see all night. The Big Dipper glowed in the skies above their head and Patroclus elbowed Alexander gently in the ribs.

"See if you do better on this than I did. This is the Big Dipper, ok? I want you to look at the star half way along the handle…what can you see?" He pointed out each section in turn as he spoke, turning Alexander’s head so he was looking at it from the right angle. The younger man was silent for a moment as he focused before he gasped softly.

"It’s not one star, it’s two."

Patroclus nodded and let the tears forming at the corners of his eyes from concentrating blur the stars he could see, "Correct. Mizar and Alcor. Congratulations you’ve just passed the eyesight test to be an archer in the Roman army."

"I’m guessing you failed that one?" Alexander laughed and let his eyes fall closed for sleep.

"That’s a story for another time." The two men chuckled softly but let the cool air of the night lull them off to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Patroclus’ words came true two years later, when baby Lucille appeared in their lives, along with her five-year-old dog loving brother, Philip.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed!


End file.
